George Zimmerman Loses Guns, Gains 2003 Ford F-350 - Glossy News (satire)
My name’s ZimmerMAN, and here’s this judge up on his high horse, taking away my guns and treating me like a ZimmerBOY. But then, you know, I cooled off, and I gave up my guns. I mean, I had no choice, but I felt like a BIG part of me was missing. So I did the only thing I could do – I bought me a lifted 2003 Ford F-350 with aftermarket tires and naked lady mudflaps. GN: What is it about this truck. Before this incident, people would see me and they’d say, ‘There goes that tough-as-nails badass, George Zimmerman. He’s a gun-slingin’ hero, like in the Wild West. And now, of course, I’m still a badass, but I was a badass that would get rides to court …so I needed some wheels, and when I saw this truck, It just spoke to me. GN: I see. GN: I’m sorry, your…. Get in the truck. GN: You take them to work out with you. My dogs gotta pump iron to be little badasses like their badass owner. GN: And where did you find this truck. Well, after my court hearing, I was still pissed off, and I went to my buddy Vince’s tattoo shop to get some work done. That’s when I saw this truck in his lot and talked him into selling it to me. GN:. Source: glossynews.com
